FAQs

What is coaching?
The International Coach Federation defines coaching as follows: “Professional coaches provide an ongoing partnership designed to help clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Coaches help people improve their performances and enhance the quality of their lives. Coaches are trained to listen, to observe and to customize their approach to individual client needs.  They seek to elicit solutions and strategies from the client; they believe the client is naturally creative and resourceful.  The coach's job is to provide support to enhance the skills, resources, and creativity that the client already has.”
 
How is coaching different from therapy?
Coach University defines the difference between Coaching and Therapy as follows:  “Therapy focuses on the life an individual is living as related to past, often childhood issues.  Therapy focuses on accompanying feelings and emotions, patterns of behavior and any self-destructive tendencies.  A typical outcome of therapy is healing the individual, the creation of more useful and healthy coping skills, and dealing with current issues and challenges.  
 
"Coaching focuses on what a person wants, beginning in the present and moving forward, developing the person to engage life with new behaviors and ultimately to achieve his or her definition of success.  It can be useful for the coachee to access information or knowledge from the past in order to identify past patterns of behavior that do not produce the preferred outcome..."

How do you define Spirituality?
“The innate human need to be connected to something larger than ourselves, something we consider to be divine or of exceptional nobility.” – From SQ21: The Twenty-One Skills of Spiritual Intelligence by Cindy Wigglesworth
 
What is Spiritual Direction?
I define spiritual direction as a faith friendly, faith neutral inclusive approach in guiding people to explore beliefs, practices, ways of being and behaviors that help them align in, embody and express positive qualities that include love, compassion, wisdom, peace, freedom, beauty, truth, joy & appreciation.

It’s based on the premise that everything is relationship. We live in a relationship with ourselves, others, every thing around us, and our idea of spirit or a Higher Power.

Unconditional love is a life changing energy that is faith friendly, faith neutral, and unites instead of divides. I am a proponent of anything aligned with energy that unites, builds bridges, nurtures, reveals, sustains and heals.

What determines the quality of each relationship, includes the energy, intention and desire we bring to that relationship. Often, we’re not always aware of the energy we’re bringing and how that may be hurting our relationship – whether it’s a relationship with ourselves, a loved one, colleague, client; home, work, health, body, food, a Higher Power, creativity, fun or something else. I help my clients create healthier, more loving and compassionate relationships with themselves, others, their idea of Spirit, and everything in their lives by becoming aware of their energy and shifting it positively.

 “Spirituality could be the ultimate competitive advantage.” – Ian I. Mitroff, from A Spiritual Audit of Corporate America

What qualifies you to do Spiritual Direction?
I’ve been a life long student of religion and spirituality, starting with my upbringing when I grew up Roman Catholic in suburban New England. My exposure to various spiritual paths through living and traveling in Europe & Asia, a spiritual energy healing practice I was part of for three years, meditating and studying metaphysics for 20 years have all helped me develop practices and ways of being that have helped me live a happier, more fulfilling life.

I’ve also studied world religions, am a Deep Change® Certified Spiritual Intelligence Coach, an Interfaith Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking ordained with James Twyman, and a Licensed Religious Science Practitioner (RScP) with the Centers for Spiritual Living.

I’ve successfully worked with people from cultures around the world, including practicing Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, along with atheists and agnostics. I appreciate my Catholic roots, and focus on the themes of love, compassion, peace and wisdom that can be found in faith, spiritual and humanist traditions.

What are universal principles and how do these work on a practical level?
Universal principles are spiritual teachings, laws or practices that when intentionally applied to our lives, can help us find greater peace, freedom, joy along with more desirable outcomes. The premise is that just as there are physical laws, like gravity, there are also spiritual laws that we can test out, such as “Whatever we focus on expands” and “We reap what we sow”, “What goes around comes around” and “Like attracts like”. Here’s a partial list of some universal principles or laws:

The Law of Forgiveness
The Law of Love
The Law of Giving & Receiving
The Law of Supply
The Law of Attraction
The Law of Non-Attachment and Non-Aversion
The Law of Non-Resistance
The Law of Appreciation

On a practical level, these work by applying a law or principle, intentionally. For example, years ago I was trying to sell a rental home. It had been on the market for over the year and wasn’t moving, though I had taken all logical steps needed like staging it, etc. A good friend reflected that when I spoke about this rental home I was very negative and resentful. I was certainly feeling resentful, frustrated, and attached to it selling by a certain date. My energy was constrictive. I was not exercising the Law of Appreciation or The Law of Non-Attachment.

Once I became aware of my energy towards this rental home, I was able to work on shifting my energy. I started focusing on everything I loved and appreciated about my rental home. I was exercising the Law of Appreciation. I also started questioning beliefs I had that it had to sell by a certain date. I asked “What if it doesn’t sell by that date? How might that be a good thing?” Within about 20 minutes I had shifted dramatically to the other end of the spectrum, and felt very spacious. I even thought of taking the rental off the market. Within 10 days my house sold in a cash sale to my dentist and her partner who I love. I made a little profit and they were happy.

I can tell you more about these principles and how they work during a complimentary consultation.

What is Spiritual Intelligence and why do I need it?
Again, using Cindy’s definition, Spiritual Intelligence is “The ability to behave with wisdom and compassion, while maintaining inner and outer peace, regardless of the situation.”
Imagine what your life would be like if you more often acted with wisdom (vs. ignorance or thoughtlessness) and compassion (vs. indifference or ill will); and were a role model for others to do the same? Who wouldn’t benefit from that?

How does coaching work?
It depends if you hire me or your organization does. In both cases I offer a 20-30 minute complimentary consultation so I can learn more about your goals and objectives and you can learn a little about me. Then if I feel like we could be a good match to work together, I’ll invite you to a one hour complimentary clarity session where we will focus on one thing you want to create in the next 6-12 months and an obstacle standing in your way.  If it still feels like a good fit, I’ll invite you to enroll in one of my coaching packages. There is no pressure to enroll. My goal is to serve you during the one hour session and for you to walk away with value.

 
How much does it cost?
~ One-on-one: The fee varies depending on the number of sessions, and length of commitment.
 
What tools do you use in our coaching?
Along with being certified in Emotional Intelligence, Spiritual Intelligence, Introduction to World Religions, and having 13+ years of experience coaching and facilitating cross-cultural programs for executives, managers and their spouses/partners, I've found that to be the most effective and happy in one's life, it helps tremendously to learn and apply the skills from four key areas of intelligence: Physical, Emotional, Cultural and Spiritual.

Physical Intelligence (PQ): the ability to listen to the subtle signals your body gives you, then respond wisely. A leader who is tired or sick due to lack of sleep or exercise can't guide a business towards physical fitness. A leader operating at less than full capacity can't offer the passion, vision or ethical guidance a company needs. Stephen Covey has emphasized the importance of this in his book "The Eighth Habit". 

Cultural Intelligence (CQ): the capability to relate and work effectively across cultures. This includes knowledge of cultural differences in values and communication styles; essential to building bridges and relationships. Without this knowledge and its application, you can't communicate, negotiate, or get things done effectively across borders.
 
Emotional Intelligence (EQ): the ability to understand and manage your emotions while displaying emotional sensitivity towards others, this includes the ability to communicate effectively. Leaders who lose their temper easily or don't listen or communicate well aren't able to gain the trust or respect they need to get things done with and through others.

Spiritual Intelligence (SQ): "The ability to behave with wisdom and compassion while maintaining inner and outer peace regardless of the situation" (Cindy Wigglesworth, www.deepchange.com) This means acting from your best self vs. ego-self and it's critical when working in an increasingly complex world with multiple stakeholders and diverse perspectives. How you show up affects morale, turnover, and your ability to influence others, as well as the bottom line. It's the difference between being an energy infuser or energy drain on the people around you. I use the SQ21 assessment with clients to self-assess on 21 skills of spiritual intelligence; along with wisdom from Cindy’s book “SQ21: The 21 Skills of Spiritual Intelligence”.

Additional Tools:
~ Science of Mind principles
~ Wisdom inherent in worldwide faith traditions
~ Neurolinguistic Programming & Gestalt Psychology
~ Exercises and processes that have helped me and my clients over 17 years in the areas of self-help, career transition, personal & spiritual growth, etc.
~ Cross-cultural communication skills & values assessments

How do I get in touch with you?
You can call me at 828-989-1980 (mobile), 828-350-9300 or email me at: barbara@mycoachbarbara.com
 
Are my sessions and communication with you confidential?
 
Definitely. I also don't give out client names without your permission.